#Journal of a slightly bläh feeling Dutch Pixy (Wednesday, 12/11/2025).

I had some weird and not too fun dreams/nightmares. So when I woke up (again) a little earlier than the alarm, I just got up as I had enough of it al. The scale wasn't too bad, I guess. I got dressed, took my meds, and got ready to head to Skoosh. We got to the gym safe and sound, where I switched my shoes, and enjoyed my protein shake while checking all the social bits and bops.

I got to the bike and rode it for 20 minutes. I followed it with a leg, arm, and back exercise. I had a nice massage in the chair, and then I got ready to head back home again. I know I did what I could at the gym, but I felt like I was already dropping the good work I had been planning on doing. My head was just not in it. I felt like my motivation had left me to deal with things by myself, like even that had lost faith in me and my ability to finally start doing better. Ugh... Moments where I feel like this, I would just love to have a partner, someone with me to help me believe in myself, someone that could challenge me and just nudge me a little so I would just do the things I know I should be doing... But yeah, it's just me and myself and I, and I guess I am just not doing too well at the moment (hence all the stupid dreams that affect me so badly).

I washed up, changed clothes, and got to the couch. I tried to write my journal toot, and to finish my blog post, and it all felt like it was taking me way too long. I had trouble with concentration. I could not find the right words for my writing, it all felt so empty and soulless... (if that makes any sense 🤔). The words just felt like they had no emotion, like I was scared or something to say the wrong things. When I was finally done with the writing bits, I went upstairs to ride the bike for a while.

I got back down and had brekky. I knew I had to do some more, exercise wise, but I just felt so bläh. Bestie called on her way to work. After that, I hoovered the downstairs area. Then, I felt so weak in some way, so I made myself some food. I was hoping it would help me a bit. After the food, I got myself to head out for a walk. I tried to walk in a decent pace, and I tried to push myself to walk a little more than I had intended. And, it worked...

When I got back, I tried to relax for a while. But it didn't really work for me, as I felt like I still had not done enough... So, I headed back upstairs and I rode the bike again for a little while. After I got down again, I got my eReader and then I just tried to read while waiting for the text from the neighbor, about the walk with the black 🖤 fluff. I had the urge to re-read the Robert Langdon series by Dan Brown. I found the first book and then my reader decided to crash... I was able to restart it and then it did work properly. I read in "Angels & Demons" till I got the text.

After a nice walk, it was a little early for bed. So I read the book for another half hour, and then I went to bed. I watched a bit of a series, and then I fell asleep with the MyNoise® soundscape and my book. I woke up a two times, due to the loo and stupid dreams. When I woke up again, it was still a little early, but I was so done with the bad dreams that I just got up and started my "day".

💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks

PS. I added an older image that I edited for an upcoming blog post. She was just the cutest...