Ello sweet and very lovely Friendos

A long "pupdate", with how Arwen is doing, how I've been doing, what we've been doing together...

I've just edited and boosted my GoFundMe toot. I added a quick update on the top, so people can see how far we've come already.

As many of you know, I've been an emotional mess since Arwen started struggling more since last Thursday afternoon. And I know I should enjoy every minute with her. And I am... But when I don't hear her snoring, when I have to leave the room, or the house even, there is always this fear that our journey together may have ended...

She has lived a good life, or so I hope. She had some trauma in her early life, thanks to something my ex did (not on purpose, but it happened and I've been feeling off about that ever since it happened, as it could have been prevented, had my ex listened to me in the first place...). She's known some struggles. She was with me when I was happy, or at least I thought I was happy. She was with me when I thought life wasn't worth living anymore. She showed me love, unconditional love, and support. She believed in me when I felt like giving up.

I know she's "just a pet" to some folks. But to me, she is so much more. She has been the bestest of friends, and she's given me more than I had any right to get... So now, I need to do right by her...

I am trying to raise the funds for when her soul has passed the rainbow 🌈 bridge, so that I will be able to take her home, and that I can use some of her ashes in a beautiful pendant, so I can keep her close with me, as long as I will be around... And, thanks to the beautiful people of the Fedi, 350 out of the 400 Euro goal has been reached. Should she pass before the goal is made, I am sure that someone I know will be able to help me with the last 50 needed.

I had some money saved for her yearly shots. But I don't know if she will make it that long, so I am using them to pay for the meds that I can pick up this morning. My parents gave me the rest that I needed. I can pick up the meds this morning, and I'll be able to start giving them to her tonight, after we had our snoozes...

Owww, she just joined me on the couch, and she's snoring peacefully next to me now... Bless her lovely soul...

I hope that the new meds will give her some more comfort. People may say that it's cruel to have her go on with pain meds. But... When she sees me, she wags her tail. She is eager for walkies. Yes, we go less far. Yes, we're slower. But she enjoys the sniffs and time together. She needs some more rests, which she "sneaks in" as extra sniffs... And that's all OK... She still enjoys her food and snacks. Even though she can't eat the harder snacks anymore. So I either soak them for her, or I try to give the softer snacks. Unfortunately, many snacks are harder ones, so soaking is the best option then... 😊

I keep an eye out on her. If she's panting more, then I check her temps, which have been good so far. I think it's just being a bit discomfortable that;'s making her pant more... So I do hope that the new meds will help with that. And when she shows me that it's time, I'll do my best to be there for her, in any way she'd need me to be.

I'm sorry that I've been emotional lately. That I've been going on about my dog, with sad messages and talking about the end of a life... I am just so sad, because yeah, knowing your time is ending hurts a lot. A journey we've traveled together for almost 12 years, a journey where so much has happened, a bond that's so strong... It just frakking hurts to know that it's slowly/quickly coming to an end...

Thank you to all that have supported me. It means so much!

Sorry that I've been less reactive towards your toots. I commented less, I boosted less, I did try to like them when I saw them... My state of mind is just very messy at the moment. My apologies...

Thanks again for everything. I really appreciate it and your help really helps me to keep going.