Violated

Well, today has not gone as planned. I am having all sorts of feelings about my bike getting stolen, though I have finally moved on from the self-recrimination of not getting up when Scooby alerted me to someone outside the van. Both the BF and I have decided that we should investigate if it’s loud enough to wake Scooby up from a dead sleep (he takes his sleep VERY seriously!). He is the best boy that way. Since my bike was locked to the rack, we’re also trying to figure out how in the hell they stole it without rocking the van!

After the initial shock and anger at how some people just suck, I mostly felt numb and tired and just sick of people. Taking a walk, I felt loss and also the nausea and anxiety I felt for months after being sexually assaulted in my 20s — hence the feeling of being violated, I think. Then again, when the house was broken into when my son (then a teenager) was home napping and all of our electronics stolen, that definitely was a violation — and sent me back to therapy to deal with that, plus the anxiety of moving. I should probably schedule a therapy appointment soon. There is a lot going on and this is just one more effing thing to deal with.

But after some non-productive procrastinating, I did get the police report and insurance claim filed and moved onto laundry, so the day isn’t a total waste of wallowing in self-pity.

Now to move all of my planned tasks for building my business to tomorrow. No pressure. Hopefully I can get back on track.

#mentalHealth