I never put too much meaning into my birthday. I was born on Mother's Day, which means that often, I am still getting older on or around that day. Which means, that many people can't make it to your day when you celebate, because of mothers, grandmothers,
I never put too much meaning into my birthday. I was born on Mother’s Day, which means that often, I am still getting older on or around that day. Which means, that many people can’t make it to your day when you celebate, because of mothers, grandmothers, kids, other women and all that… As a kid, especially an undiagnosed autistic one, I could never understand how a commercial day would top the anniversary of making it around the sun another time…
You can honor your mum every day. But you can’t really celebrate your birthday any day. Your birthday is something real, in my mind, where Mother’s Day is just something “made up” to sell things and all that. But yeah…This year, my mum and dad were coming to visit me for a bit. And all went well, until I got the call…
I did my best to prepare everything as best as I could. My parents came and we had a nice visit. Some coffee (for them), some cake and snacks… And then, they left to head back home again… I had just settled myself on the couch to relax
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I never put too much meaning into my birthday. I was born on Mother’s Day, which means that often, I am still getting older on or around that day. Which means, that many people can’t make it to your day when you celebate, because of mothers, grandmothers, kids, other women and all that… As a kid, especially an undiagnosed autistic one, I could never understand how a commercial day would top the anniversary of making it around the sun another time…
You can honor your mum every day. But you can’t really celebrate your birthday any day. Your birthday is something real, in my mind, where Mother’s Day is just something “made up” to sell things and all that. But yeah…This year, my mum and dad were coming to visit me for a bit. And all went well, until I got the call…
I did my best to prepare everything as best as I could. My parents came and we had a nice visit. Some coffee (for them), some cake and snacks… And then, they left to head back home again… I had just settled myself on the couch to relax a bit, when my mum called. I thought she may had forgotten something, so when I answered, I wasn’t prepared for the state that my mum was in…
I could barely understand her, and she had trouble understanding me… But after a bit, I realized that she was so woozy, because they had just been in a bad accident! 😭 They had a collision with a biker. And it was bad. Bas was in the car and she could not reach him. Emergencies were informed. People were helping. But, could I please pick up Bas…
I didn’t know what to expect… I tried to keep calm as I drove to the scene. They let me through, as the person directing traffic had been warned that I was coming and I was allowed to pick up the dog.
There was a man on the road. The car was a mess. There was an upside-down bike next to the car. Mum could not get out. Glass and shards everywhere. While I got out of the car, the medi-chopper was just coming in as well.
There was a female biker that was with my parents. She gave me the heads up about the situation and she was so kind and calm. 💜 She put me at ease, and made me feel calm as well. I got Bas out of the back of the car. He was in his seat belt, and in between so much glass! I lifted him out on his harness and examined him, while getting the glass from his fur. He was happy to see me, but also dazed.
The lady said that she’d stay with my parents. That I should take Bas home and give him a proper checkup. I felt so assured by her, and my parents seemed to be at ease with her as well. So, I asked a cop to help me get out, and he did, so I could take Bas home.
He was very quiet and calm. Until I parked the car. When I opened the back door, his tail began wagging like crazy. He wanted to jump out the car, which I didn’t allow. We got to the house, I checked him. And he seemed OK. I was badly shaken up, seeing the man, my parents, the mess… I guess I was in a state of shock as well…
I walked to the neighbor that we always walk with. She listened to my story, as I hugged her big fluffy dog… Then I went back to the house, and I walked Arwen and Bas. I had just given Bas some food, when my mum texted me. The police was done with them, and they were allowed to be picked up.
It was weird to drive back to the scene. I needed to go around a “closed road” sign, which felt so bad… And someone told me I needed to turn around. But when I explained that I was asked to come by the police, to pick up my parents, then I could proceed.
The road was still closed, so we had to go the long way around to get my parents home. I tried my best to drive as easy going as I could, because my parents were still in shock and mum was bruised in so many places.
When we got back, I helped mum to try and get all the glass off of her. It was literally everywhere! Places where it should not have been possible to go… There it was… When mum was cleaned up as much as I could help her with, and my parents didn’t need any more help, I could drive back home again.
Just to be sure, I took the long way around again, as it wasn’t clear if the road had been cleared already. When I got home, I let Arwen out. I felt so many emotions, my whole body was tense, somewhere in the back of my mind, all the worst-case scenarios were coming through… 😔
It took some time to fall asleep. I was dead tired, but my body was so sore (even though I hadn’t even been in the accident), and my mind was all over the place… Eventually, I did get some sleep, but I felt like I woke up in a worse state of body and mind…
This birthday… I will never forget. And it will probably be fuel for some nightmares to come. I am glad that my parents are OK enough. I am hoping with all that I have, that the biker will be able to fully recover. I’m grateful, in a way, that he didn’t hit mum’s side-door, as she would have been way worse if that had happened. I am sad that my dad was driving and caused this to happen, even though I know it never has been his intention… I am so worried on how this all will play out…
But, I am also grateful, to some people. The lady that stopped to help my parents. She was so calm, kind, and caring. She assured me that I could take Bas home and be there for him, and she would be there for my parents. Grateful for all the emergency people that worked so hard to care for the biker and for my parents. Grateful for my neighbor, for my friends, because they listened to me, they comforted me, they cared… And that helped me so much. 💜
But still, this birthday… Is definitely the worst one I ever had… 😢
Small update on me: this week, I was watching TV. My window was open, and then, I felt goosebumps all over my arms. It was 22°C, and I thought I was doing OK. But then, I noticed that there was a medi-chopper flying over and the sound of it had triggered this. I guess it may take some more time to learn to cope with this…
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The image features a person and a chocolate Labrador Retriever. The dog is positioned on the left side of the image, with its mouth open and tongue out, appearing happy and relaxed.
But... This is what happened on my birthday. The blue car, my parents were in that, with their dog. The motor hit their car, as my dad tried to turn to the highway ramp. Dad was in the wrong, but we/I don't know yet how this could have gotten wrong so badly...
I will try to keep sharing things here as I usually do, but I may be less responsive, as I'm still struggling with all sorts of emotions. I wrote a Toot about it here: beige.party/@PixysJourney/1144…
So yeah... I really hope that the motor driver will be able to recover fully... I don't think dad could live on, battling his demons, while also knowing that he may have caused everlasting harm... Ugh...
