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Items tagged with: jokes


Paco Bell: Taco place that leans into Spanish Baroque architecture and German Baroque music.

Except when someone orders or finishes the Paco Loco (1 foot, 2 lb taco) at which point Cypress Hill's "Insane in the Brain" plays

#music

#jokes (i mean really it's a business idea but you know)




"Yes, English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though." #English #jokes


Seen on another network:

You know a woman is mad when she starts a sentence with, "I just find it funny how...."

Because there's a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny.

#jokes #relationships



DENTIST: Have you been brushing twice a day?

ME: [brandishing my stunningly immaculate hair] Pshaw! More like five times a day

#comedy #jokes #joke


Q: What do you call a typographical error on a headstone?
.
.
.
A: A grave mistake.

(So old that I remember when #DadJokes used to just be called #Jokes.)


🚨 Just got off the phone with Mitch McConnell 🚨
He says my package is sitting at the depot and I need to click the link to reschedule delivery.

Sir. Senator. Please.

#MitchMcConnell #ScamCall #jokes #GOP #Comedy



We treat our brains like rental cars: drive them too fast, ignore all the warning signs and leave them full of crumbs. Instead treat your brain like a used Honda. It may make weird noises, but if you maintain it, it’ll run forever. #mentalhealth #jokes #comedy



If there's ONE THING all this reflecting pool hullabaloo has reminded us of, it's the wise words of the Scottish bard himself:

"The best laid plans o mice an men, gang aft algae"

#satire #jokes #trump



Some fun #ScottishSlang
"Lang may yer lum reek" - Literally means "long may your chimney smoke." It is a wish for long life and good health.

"He's got a face like a bulldog lickin' pish aff a thistle" - The person looks very unhappy or sour-faced.

"Away and bile yer heid" - Go away, you're talking nonsense.

"Mony a mickle maks a muckle" - Small savings add up. The Scottish version of "A penny saved is a penny earned."

"Skinny Malinky Longlegs" - Someone who is tall and skinny.

"Mad wea it" - To be extremely drunk, as in "He's intends to get mad wea it after the game."

"Gie it laldy" - To give something your all, as in "The Scottish team's gie it laldy."

(It's #HootinTootinTuesday again! Post some jokes or funny memes under this hashtag today, and bring lots of smiles to #Mastodon.)

#Humor #Humour #FunnyMeme #Jokes #Scotland #Scottish #Scotsman #Scots #Scotsmen #Scotland #TheTartanArmy #WorldCup #FIFAWorldCup #Accents #Dialects #ScottishAccent #Highlanders