#MovieThread VI: The Past Is An Undiscovered Country, Chapter Three — March Edition
From 2020 to 2024 I watched 1962 movies.
In 2025 so far I've watched another 60, for a total of 2022 movies.
* 30 per month feels neat, but I also feel like I gotta pick up Da Pace.
* Have been mostly focused on podcast movies.
Previous thread: beepboop.one/@Alexis/113929817…
#MovieThread VI: The Past Is An Undiscovered Country, Chapter Two — February EditionFrom 2020 to 2024 I watched 1962 movies.
In January 2025 I watched another 31, for a total of 1993 movies.* Watchlist going terribly -- I've added more than I've watched.
* But we podcast movie and Best Picture nominee ever onwards.
This entry was edited (9 months ago)
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •I'll go see a Dragon Ball movie in the cinema, sure, absolutely, had a blast with "Super Hero" a few years ago, leaving now to go see --
#61, or #2023, the 2025 extended cut of 2013's "Dragon Ball Z: Battle of the Gods."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Had another nice time checking in on my friends from television's "Dragon Ball Z."
The stakes in these things get so silly, like, yeah, this guy might destroy the world, but also, he's being a real dick at Bulma's birthday party, what a problem. Very silly, lots of fun.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The trend in these -- watching movies from the same year as the number since I started counting -- has been "I skipped this and was right to," anyway, it's --
#62, or #2024, 2024's "Challengers."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Luca Guadagnino is fascinated by bodies, and by how they collide into each other, and that inherently, at least for him, leads to a certain intense sensuality that I find difficult to connect to.
Of the three of his I've seen, he's really got a 50/50 hit rate with me -- I liked "Bones and All," and the back half of "Queer," but "Call Me By Your Name" was simply Too Horny For Me.
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"What about the two of you?"
"What? ... No!"
see this is part of why I skipped this, I didn't wanna get no-homo'd for two hours and change
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"I will be watching the match tomorrow. Whoever wins can have my number."
possibly the single most reused premise in comics about whether Daisy goes out with Donald or Gladstone
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"You're on opposite sides of the draw, you're not gonna play each other unless you're both in the final."
just jim at the camera if you're gonna be like this
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these people are tennis-level intense about literally anything
all three of them would order a coffee and slam change into the register so hard it goes tilt like a slot machine
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gay
they just had tennis instead of sex
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In the end it's far more about the bodies than about the sex. Bodies rippling across the field. Maybe that's where I'm able to meet Guadagnino -- when he's about the bodies instead of about the sex.
Pretty watchable.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The movie that dares to ask, what if there was a gorge, it's --
#63, or #2025, 2025's "The Gorge."
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Miles Teller is a former sniper who quit because he hated how good he was at his job, Anya Taylor-Joy is a current sniper who is also very good at her job but is distressed to learn she's apparently been spotted.
They're both being recruited by Sigourney Weaver for a very secret job that probably involves a The Gorge, and putting bullets into things very precisely from very far away.
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"The Gorge is the door to Hell and we're standing guard at the gate."
I don't think there's any way this is a satisfying thing at the end.
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The *only* allowed contact is a radio check-in every thirty days, and all they do is ask for a secure code, whether there's been enemy contact, and what the status of the cloakers that keep the area hidden from satellites etcetera is.
There's a little library, but not even a TV or nothin'.
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They've spotted Something in The Gorge. Multiple Somethings.
...Oh, they're just ratty-looking zombieish hell monsters.
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He was ziplining back exactly when one of the mines went off, breaking the zipline.
This is why you don't zipline across The Gorge.
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oh, this was an alternative to the Manhattan Project, stationed here first for secrecy, but when it went Wrong, kept there for containment
sure
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"Sounds like we could be fine if exposure is limited to hours."
How convenient!
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Forgot to thread #64 or #2026, "One of Them Days," seen at Sneak Preview.
beepboop.one/@Alexis/114105689…
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Never really went in for the parody movies -- they always felt like they were either too of their time to appreciate now or like they'd be just mostly reference humour -- but Blank Check covered this because I guess it parodies a bunch of the John Singleton movies I've now seen, it's --
#65, or #2027, 1996's "Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood."
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at its best when it's just rapid-fire throwing jokes at you, but then completely collapses when it gets stuck in one joke for a bit or has to actually move the thin plot forward, which I guess is probably just how the parody movie thing works generally.
ultimately just not really my thing
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The movie that dares to ask, what if there was a baby boy, it's --
#66, or #2028, 2001 John Singleton picture "Baby Boy."
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though it feels like Singleton is depicting the kinds of women he knows in real life, his perspective simply doesn't seem mature enough to really treat them like people.
they exist solely to orbit the men, they don't have lives of their own, they never make decisions that affect things outside of their relationships. even them being abused is a thing that the picture can't quite see as anything but something that happens to the men.
gross!
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there's also a lot of talk here about wanting to break those various cycles of abuse, but nobody actually does it, nobody ever puts themselves on a positive path forward, and the ending, where Jody and Yvette's relationship once again resets to something we've seen several times before, is played bafflingly as happy.
(the picture never quite seems to see how fucked up it is that so many of their bad arguments are resolved with sex.)
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and maybe that's the point. maybe the idea here is, none of these people will break out of these cycles. I get that.
but it doesn't make much of a movie.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The movie that dares to ask, what if there were four brothers, it's --
#67, or #2029, 2005 John Singleton picture "Four Brothers."
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* Mark Wahlberg, hockey-man, crime-doer.
* André Benjamin, family man, union guy.
* Garrett Hedlund, musician, fuck-up.
* Tyrese, not in this scene yet.
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Their mom was killed in a robbery of her little store in the opening scene. Presumably they're gonna take four-brotherly revenge on her killers.
Also around are Terence Howard and Josh Charles as the cops presumably also investigating the murder.
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"We can't all be saints, Jerry."
"Yeah, we can't all be saints, Jerry."
we can't all be saints, jerry
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"It doesn't make sense. He's already got the money."
not much of an investigation if it was open and shut
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Again Singleton just shows no ability to relate to women -- the only named women in this so far are "beloved mother" and "nagging bitch who you can placate with sex."
Of course, that's next to the four brothers known as "dickhead," "kid brother," "paladin," and "expert."
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The picture is shallow, the plot somehow both thin and overstuffed, the characters so stock you could buy their motivations for a buck on iStockphoto.
It's not even /really/ that bad -- it's pretty watchable generic action nonsense -- but it's a real shame to see a thoughtful filmmaker like Singleton fall to the level of something you could sell in a four-pack with three Liam Neeson movies.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The movie that dares to ask, what if there was an abduction, it's --
#68, or #2030, John Singleton's final film, 2011's "Abduction."
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While working together on a conveniently plot-relevant school project, Lautner and Collins find, on an online list of missing kids, a picture that looks weirdly like a young Lautner.
The mockup of what he might look like today looks exactly like him, down to the haircut, which is totally different than what the kid version has.
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Lautner has chemistry mostly with the various places he's running around in -- he's a compelling runner and jumper, he's very watchable as Guy Stumbling Through The Bushes -- but none whatsoever with his costars.
Twilight is ultimately weird enough that "black box whose behaviour is explained through infodumps" totally works, but it really doesn't in a "normal" action movie -- he just seems distant and closed off for no reason.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •I can't do the "but I haven't seen" joke because from the trailers I'm pretty sure they do cover Mickey 1 through 16, leaving now to go --
#69, or #2031, 2025's "Mickey 17."
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And here's the thing: It's disappointing because it's Bong Joon Ho and I was expecting /more/, when, like I said, nobody is making movies like this!! If this was a Russo Brothers movie, we'd all be hyped as shit that they finally figured out how to make a great one!! (That's mean, I'm sorry.)
I wanted it to be his best one yet but instead it's just pretty good.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •I don't care about box office numbers, not really, but I was at 100% on the top 100 global box office until the sequel to this came out, so, it's --
#70, or #2032, 2019 Chinese animated film "Ne Zha."
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okay, so, to subdue the Chaos Pearl, it's been split into a Spirit Pearl and a Demon Orb, and so the Demon Orb can be destroyed by heavenly lightning three years from now, the Spirit Pearl must be incarnated as the third-born son of one of Supreme Lord Tianzun's disciples' subjects.
this all goes broadly speaking according to plan until at the end of the three-year pregnancy somebody steals the Spirit Pearl and imbues the baby with the energy of the Demon Orb instead
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the baby thus comes out as a literal ball of fire and rage, Ne Zha, and only grows limbs and the rest of his body after causing a bunch of havoc in town
the villagers want to kill Ne Zha until they're reminded Ne Zha is also still a small baby
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Supreme Lord Tianzun's other disciple, Shen Gongbao, the evil vizier-lookin' one, has taken the Spirit Pearl to the Great Dragon, who has infused it into an egg that has hatched to become Ao Bing the dragon prince.
meanwhile Taiyi Zhenren and Ne Zha's dad have driven Taiyi's pig to the Supreme Lord to ask him to cut it out with the curse that means Ne Zha will be struck down in three years
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Here's the thing you need to understand about Ne Zha: He sucks! He's a piece of shit! He terrorises the town so bad, one guy chooses to knock himself out with a brick and fall into a well instead of facing Ne Zha. He bullies a gang of bullies into falling into the trap full of urchins and piss they set for him!
As demon hunters go, he's a cure that's worse than what ails ya!
What I'm saying is: This kid rules.
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"Nobody else gets to decide who you are!"
Ne Zha identifies as a rockin' little dude and ain't nobody get to decide he's a demon or anything else if that's not who he wants to be.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •It's Women's History Month, so why not watch some historical women this month, it's --
#71, or #2033, 2016's "Hidden Figures."
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"We can't justify a space program that doesn't put anything in space!"
so much progress, these days the closest America has to a space program is a company that exclusively makes things fall out of space
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"What am I--"
"Work on what you can read, the rest is classified, you don't have clearance."
it's like getting handed half a car and told to make the lap
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"Well, the curriculum is not designed for teaching a woman."
at every turn in this movie this is, broadly speaking, the shape of the barrier white society puts in front of these black women
and nobody ever seems to realise that this is stupid, until another white man goes, come on, this is stupid
obviously this is a heavily fictionalised film, and so the conflicts are simplified, invented, exaggerated
but god do I want to burn down "that's just how things are"
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And in the second, it didn't /happen/. And that -- along with every other of its many inventions -- makes it feel like the picture doesn't think the struggles these women faced, the real struggles of segregation and misogyny and how those things mix in a violently racist and patriarchal America, were interesting enough on their own.
I feel like these women deserved better than that.
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Sky, Cozy Goth Prince of Cats
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The trailer told us it was Woody Harrelson and Simu Liu in a "they have to rescue a guy stuck hundreds of metres below the surface of the ocean" scenario and we both went, yeah, sure, so leaving now to go see --
#72, or #2034, 2025's "Last Breath."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Very functional, very watchable underwater true story thriller -- does pull just about every inch you can get out of an accident that took only about 40 minutes in reality, but is tense and compelling all the way through.
Can understand why somebody might be disappointed if they were expecting a bigger action thriller, but you know I love a process thriller about competent people running around trying to solve a crisis by pushing buttons, it all feels very real, very solid.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •I'm pretty sure "pretend to be a member of a certain group to experience the challenges they face first hand" is one of those things you're not supposed to do, but okay, this one's about a guy pretending to be Jewish, it's --
#73, or #2035, 1947 Best Picture winner "Gentleman's Agreement."
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"What could I possibly say that hasn't been said before?"
Ah, I was right, he doesn't see an angle on it. But then his mom convinces him to do it just because it'd be nice if people knew more about it and maybe it didn't need to be explained to Dean Stockwell, like PEck just had to do.
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"I didn't try to dig into a coal miner's heart, I /was/ a miner!"
my dude that's a job, not a
"I'll be /Jewish/!"
dude
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the girlfriend sucks eggs, constantly taking the side of the anti-semites, or just even potential ones, and now telling Wee Dean Stockwell that it's fine that he got called slurs because he isn't one of those kinds of people at all
and you just know the happy ending is gonna involve him still being with her
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The movie that dares to ask, what if there was a guy called --
#74, or #2036, 2001's "Joe Dirt."
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"If my calculations are correct, this will create ice! ... Oh no, killer mustard gas!!"
rare good joke
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •"Action movie about a guy who can't feel pain" is, practically speaking, basically every action movie, but this looks funny, leaving now to go see --
#75, or #2037, 2025's "Novocaine."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Finally found a copy of this to watch, only, what, four years after it was recommended to me by a teacher who'd seen it at a festival, so I watched --
#76, or #2038, 2021's "No Straight Lines: The Rise of Queer Comics."
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In the end, what this is, is, it's a good, if slightly dry, doc on a specific, early era of American queer comics.
I love watching cartoonists talk about their process and watching queer people exist and live their lives, and this, obviously, has both, frequently at the same time.
Good recommendation. Thanks Loes.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •As I understand it, right, there's these Fellas, and you might think to yourself, they sound like BadFellas, well, buddy, have I got news for you, it's --
#77, or #2039, 1990's "GoodFellas."
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who kidnapped you
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in reply to 🇹 Ti • • •@The_T Fall out? The trunk is closed.
We're talking this kind and shape and size of car, roughly:
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •"the back of the hatchback"
it's so weird that Europe even calls those cars. I think of a car as specifically having a trunk. Like this
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in reply to alarmingly large glaceon girl 🍓 • • •@monorail @The_T The separate trunk is absolutely what you picture in the context of a mafia movie, to be fair.
But yeah, I think of that as the trunk, they're different versions of the same thing, the storage area in the back.
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"To me, being a gangster was better than being President of the United States."
these days they're not that different are they ey-ooh wink wonk zam clam
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The thing about mafia stuff is, it's a lotta guys who are all a bit much, it's a lotta stuff they really care about that I kinda don't, and they're all very loud and emotional in ways that feel very arbitrary to my Dutch autistic mindset.
I liked what I've seen of Sopranos, because it zooms in on a guy who, in his way, exists a step removed from that, it's a thoughtful performance, it's building on stuff like this and taking another angle at it.
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So just raw uncut mafia stuff I'm a little strange to, a little outside of.
And that's why I guess I'm not really clicking with this.
(Another part of it is it's really, really doing the "and then this happened" biopic thing.)
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Another documentary I've been wanting to watch for ages, this one about people staging a production of "Hamlet" in "Grand Theft Auto." I watched --
#78, or #2040, 2024's "Grand Theft Hamlet."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •In a lot of ways it does feel like a YouTube video that's escaped containment, but I think this premise does lend itself very well to being taken seriously -- ultimately, "Grand Theft Hamlet" is about doing something you care about in a chaotic world that is explicitly designed to not just not accommodate you but to be hostile to you, to destroy you.
And what better way to embody that than by framing something so deeply and profoundly silly as something that matters? (Which it does.)
Alex Daily!
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Genuinely coincidental "finding connection through acting under difficult circumstances" double feature today, leaving now to go see --
#79, or #2041, 2025's "Sing Sing."
Alex Daily!
in reply to Alex Daily! • • •A lot has already been said about the gorgeous Colman Domingo performance at the heart of "Sing Sing," and about the equally incredible supporting cast of real alums of the program, but in all the talk I never quite heard anyone bring up how funny and endearing it frequently is.
Beautiful, very human picture!
Alex Daily!
in reply to Alex Daily! • • •What if you went to the cinema but didn't know what movie you were seeing, would that be fucked up or what? Anyway, leaving now for Sneak Preview.
#80, or #2042.
(Filing a guess, uhhh, could still be "The Return.")
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Realised I was on an entirely accidental three-day documentary streak and thought I'd keep it up, so in an attempt to grasp a phenomenon that has largely escaped me (I liked "Folklore,") I ticked off my watchlist --
#81, or #2043, 2020 Taylor Swift doc "Miss Americana."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The only movie based on a Stephenie Meyer novel I haven't seen, it's --
#82, or #2044, 2013's "The Host."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •"The Earth is at peace."
i don't buy it
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"I didn't die!"
uh-huh
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •So you've got these Expectations, right. And are they Mediocre Expectations? No. Are they Regular Expectations? Absolutely not. You'll never believe the size of these --
#83, or #2045, 1946 Best Picture nominee "Great Expectations."
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"This is Pip."
"So, this is Pip, is it?"
this is Pip it is 'tis Pip indeed
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"And my communication to him is that he has /great expectations/."
my little women
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it was the escaped convict all along
(the picture doesn't really play this as any kind of mystery, more as just, an unknown fact.)
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so Magwitch's long-lost daughter is 113% for sure Estella right
like why even bring it up if it's not
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"Look, Estella, look! Nothing but dust and decay!"
vampire house turns out in sunlight to be nothing but bones
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Every other day the past while I've gone, I should probably put on "The Electric State" at some point, and I feel like the fact that I haven't really reflects well on how far I've come in terms of character growth. Instead, it's --
#84, or #2046, 1947 Best Picture nominee "The Bishop's Wife."
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* His focus on this puts a real strain on his relationship with his titular wife and their daughter.
* Praying on it, his calls for spiritual guidance are answered by guardian angel Cary Grant.
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@B For a few years there it's wall-to-wall war pictures, but the second the war is over, it's all inspirational angel dramas, Shakespeare and fairy tale adaptations, and boys' adventure stories.
It's uncannily like how nobody talks about the pandemic any more.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Put this on while I worked as a refresher ahead of seeing the 2025 one later, I watched --
#85, or #2047, 1937's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."
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It's a dated picture, alright.
She's called Snow White because of just how Caucasian she is.
Her life revolves around one man she's barely met and when she's away from that her life becomes about caring for seven smaller men who only save her from certain death because she'll clean and cook for them.
Her conflict with the Queen is entirely about beauty standards pitting women against each other.
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The Prince is cardboard, the idea of a man, desirable only because of his title and his looks.
The glass coffin emphasising how even in apparent death the main thing she's good for is lookin' at. (Like, the picture explicitly fucking says this.)
She has no conversation whatsoever with the Prince between the kiss and the picture declaring that they lived happily ever after.
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There's animation here that still feels glorious to this day and almost certainly always will.
(And I'll be whistling the songs for days.)
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Early reviews have been more positive than they usually are for these, leaving now to go see --
#86, or #2048, 2025's "Snow White."
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* Why do we need 2 separate bands of seven characters taking Snow White's side?
* It's so doing its own thing with it all that it sometimes feels like it's doing, say, the Apple because you have to do the Apple more than that it makes sense to do the Apple.
* Everything about any monarchy has inherent problems.
* Both Snow White's and Jonathan's big end-of-act-two conflicts are resolved exactly one scene later.
* Etcetera, etcetera.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •A treasure? Of /my/ Sierra Madre? It's more likely than you think, in --
#87, or #2049, 1948 Best Picture nominee "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre."
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"I know what gold does to men's souls."
make them rich and happy?
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"Believe it or not, I knew a fellow once who could smell gold like a jackass could smell water."
*Carl Barks* has definitely seen this movie multiple times.
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"If you're the police, where are your badges?"
"Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!"
i don't think these badgeless men dressed like bandits are law enforcement
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •A kid? In /my/ karate? It's more like than you think, in --
#88, or #2050, 1984's "The Karate Kid."
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"Hey, are you the maintenance man?"
"Hai."
you can tell from how he's trying to chopstick a fly. classic janitor thing to do. janitors always be doin' that.
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"Fear does not exist in this dojo! Does it!"
this dojo is way too hardcore, way too American
better ask the janitor
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"Guess what? I'm gonna be trained as a manager!"
parallel side story about Mrs LaRusso going through her own life-changing training in THE MANAGER MOM
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oh, right, this is the one with the, like, chores that turn out to be training all along
even this bit with the bonsai trees is training -- Miyagi-sensei is taking this polite, kind-hearted, but mess-brained kid, and focusing him, aiming him
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"Fighting always last answer to problem."
yeah if I work through my list of potential answers to a problem and fightin' comes up, there's not gonna be any answers after that, I assure you
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Miyagi-sensei has asked the Cobra Kai dojo to stop bullying Daniel, the Cobra Kai dojo has rejected this and offered to have Johnny fight him one-on-one, which Miyagi-sensei proposes they do at the upcoming tournament. But, warns the Cobra Kai sensei, if Daniel doesn't show, it's, quote, open season on him.
In the 1980s it was of course totally normal for an inner-city martial arts teacher to declare "open season" on a local teenager who's done nothing wrong.
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"Man who catch fly with chopstick, accomplish anything."
if I ever caught a fly with chopsticks you'd never hear the end of it
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fade out less than a minute after victory
movies used to just slam right into the exit
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Leaving now to go see March's Mystery Classic.
#89, or #2051.
Thank you all for guessing along, will let you know what it was when I get back.
beepboop.one/@Alexis/114222526…
Alex Daily!
in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The Mystery Classic was 2000's "Meet the Parents," a classic of the angry patriarch defending his daughter genre, with such top jokes as "what if a man was a nurse" and "what if a man's name suggested he was a homosexual."
So, like, yeah, some of this? Has aged poorly. Twenty-five years is an ocean.
But: Watching somebody tumble ever onwards into increasingly hostile situations like this? Always gonna be pretty funny. A hoot to get to watch in a dark room with a hundred people.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The movie that dares to ask, to be or not to be, what if that was the question, it's --
#90, or #2052, 1948 Best Picture winner "Hamlet."
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"Get thee to bed, Francisco."
yeah francisco fuck off francisco
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"Looks it not like the King?"
crown, robes, could be any dead guy under there
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"I saw him once. He was a goodly king."
"He was a man. Take him for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again."
"My lord, I think I saw him yesternight."
"...Saw?"
Ham's reaction here is hopeful doubt when he should frankly be playing it as "damn, Horatio must be fuckin tripping."
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"There're more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
especially if those things confirm or play into your wants and desires, loads of those things to be found all over the place
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"Your noble son is mad."
and not gonna take it any more
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Ham's plan to show Claudius a play that reenacts Claudius killing Ham Sr so as to gauge his reaction, through which he will surely implicate himself, is, frankly, a bit silly.
What if Claudius simply haveth a poker face.
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"This physic just prolongs thy sickly days."
god ham just kill the man
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"Madness?"
no, this is-- [the mid-00s pull me off the stage]
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"Where is Polonius?"
"In heaven. Send thither to see."
i keep sending guys to heaven but none ever come back, stronger men required
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"The point envenomed, too."
claudius just has a poisons guy he owes a bunch of favours to
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this is the version I recommend to people who will only watch one version of Hamlet!
(But the Branagh one is my actual favorite tbh)
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@B Off the top of my head, this might be my only feature film Hamlet?
Though it came up recently in "Sing Sing," and I watched "Grand Theft Hamlet" recently, and obviously I saw the Tennant one way back when, and I've read the CYOA "To Be or Not To Be," and it also just so exists in the culture.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •You can bring Karate to the Kid, and you can also bring the Kid to Karate, because in this one they go to Okinawa, it's --
#91, or #2053, 1986's "The Karate Kid Part II."
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A 5 minute recap section and then we open perhaps no more than 5 minutes after the first movie.
I said at the end of the first one that movies just used to slam right into the ending, but they also used to be much more willing to just be direct literally-the-next-scene sequels.
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"Hey, how come you can get a passport in one day?"
"Have next-day plane ticket."
in the Year of Luigi 2025, this guy's not flyin' nowhere tomorrow
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"Hey, can you break a log like that?"
"Don't know, never been attacked by tree."
Miyagi-sensei is the smartest wise guy you ever met.
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"Miyagi father always say, best way to avoid punch, no be there."
big "I would simply not get punched" energy to this whole family
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Trilogy of movies. American teenager gets into a peculiar scrap that turns life-or-death. When his mentor, a funny older man with unique skills, steps in, he gets to have a series of experiences few people ever will. There's weirdly intense teenagers, and one of the sequels is set in a totally different place than the other two movies.
This is just Back to the Future.
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"Come here. I want to show you something."
when a guy with a large spear says that kind of thing, never good
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"Just forget about the honour garbage!!"
yeah just make him soup
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"Behind you!!"
classic karateka on a zipline hostage situation
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"Live or die, man?"
"Die!"
"Wrong!" [he pulls his nose] "Honk!"
hell yeah
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I think the worst would be:
"It's not you, I just want someone to fill the narrative role you did three years ago, we've just grown too close."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •No way does this one live up to the lovely second one, it's --
#92, or #2054, 1989's "The Karate Kid Part III."
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"It's been nine months since I've had a student walk through my doors."
these days the fact that he very publicly behaved like a turd man at the tournament would make him more popular with dickheads than ever
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I feel like genuinely scary large adults don't really hold extremely violent grudges against little old guys and random teenagers these days. You'd want them to be a little more on the same level than this.
Cocaine was all the rage, I guess.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The movie that dares to ask, what if the Karate Kid was Hilary Swank, it's --
#93, or #2055, 1994's "The Next Karate Kid."
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"I told you to leave."
Hm, Mr Miyagi disrespecting an angry man feels very different when that man is a gym teacher who works at the school of the young woman whose life he's about to change.
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"Teach him karate. He love karate. He teach your father. Your father teach you."
"And then they died. Everybody died."
julie
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"First, we wax the car. This hand, wax on, this hand, wax off, okay?"
"Forget it, I'm not waxing anyone's car."
called it, and also, yeah I don't think this is gonna work on a bratty jackass 90s kid
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •The movie that dares to ask, what if the Karate Kid learned kung fu instead, it's --
#94, or #2056, 2010's "The Karate Kid."
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Dre finds Mr Han deciding to try chopsticking flies while eating noodles instead of just finding him chopsticking them randomly.
The twist of him then getting it with the flyswatter is funny enough.
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A lot of the remake choices made here are really just lateral choices -- China instead of California, deaging the kids because it's all built around Jaden -- and hard to take issue with. Even changing it to kung fu, fine, whatever.
But a big thing Mr Miyagi had in common with Daniel is both of them were and always felt like outsiders, which Mr Han, being from the Beijing Dre moves to, is not.
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Mr Han's wife and kid died in a car accident, years ago, and now every year he fixes up the car they died in, so he can smash it back to shit on the anniversary of the accident.
Which is, one, way too heavy, and two, not the reciprocity I meant -- helping Mr Han get over this is way too much to put on this small boy's shoulders.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Look, if all of China saw this twice, we have to investigate, leaving now to go see --
#95, or #2057, 2025's "Ne Zha 2."
(I've seen the first one but the Brother has not.)
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Where the first one was mostly about the power of friendship and about Nezha rejecting his assigned destiny and writing his own, a theme I'm already always gonna connect with, this one -- and, look, maybe I'm missing cultural context here, right -- but this one /also/ goes all the way the fuck in on being passionately anti-bigotry, anti-prison, and anti-establishment.
Love to see an anti-racist fighter kid beat the shit out of the haters.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •While working, watched --
#96, or #2058, 1968 William Greaves doc "Symbiopsychotoxiplasm: Take One."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •It's a crew filming him filming a short scene over and over, all of which is being filmed by a third crew, and intercut with footage of the crew talking about what the hell they're even doing.
None of this is honestly as weird to me, here in the Year of Luigi 2025, as it is to the crew in 1968 -- heck, "Community" did it twice -- but it does add up to a good, meta depiction of people operating at three different levels of, not, as the picture insists, reality, but observation. Very watchable.
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Followed it up with --
#97, or #2059, 2005's "Symbiopsychotoxiplasm: Take 2½."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •Another Cage I haven't seen, in this one he's a beach bum who comes out of hitman retirement, it's --
#98, or #2060, 2023's "The Retirement Plan."
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •I would simply not be anyone's getaway driver.
(No driver's license. If I get assigned the role of getaway driver something has already gone so fucking wrong.)
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FLASH
Ron Perlman is
BOBO
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Weirdly, for a man who I've seen sleep through more than a dozen shitters exactly like this, Cage /is/ kinda trying here.
But that means he's Cage-ing, while everyone else is turning in soap opera, and that's some real hamburgers and gummy worms.
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"Who the fuck kills anyone with weights."
"I know, I've never seen anything like it."
i've surely seen it a hundred times
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"Business or pleasure?"
"...Business."
they've fucked up the runner
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bad movie
i hope everyone involved had a nice vacation to the cayman islands
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in reply to Alex Daily! • • •This concludes the March 2025 #MovieThread.
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2025-04-01 12:39:10
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