I wish I knew how to get my four year old to stop screaming "I hate you! I'm gonna find a gun and kill you!" every time he's mad at me over anything at all.
I don't know where he got it from, but our world is full of guns, violence and death, especially on #YouTube (which I always block on our electronic devices, but his older brother Link always figures out how to hack back into it. But hey, at least they won't see any female nipples right?! 🙃)
He always apologizes after calming down, but I don't know how to get him to stop saying it in the first place. I've tried ignoring him, yelling at him, depriving him of electronics and toys, crying (somewhat but not entirely hammed up), calmly asking him to stop, putting him on time out (which just makes him more mad) and still... Every time he's angry, out it comes.
His brother used to say "I want to kill you" a lot, but he's dropped it off a lot, thank goodness. Maybe it's just an age thing. It hurts so badly everything, though. And if he says that at school he's going to be in a lot of trouble. I think enough already about the horrors of gun violence, and fearing my kids will be next... I don't want him adding anything to that, even through words.
I gotta get us out of this shithole country.
: Indigenous Terror
in reply to Cleo of Topless Topics • • •in their anger, they know that will get a reaction.
The only thing left I can think of is maybe a "okay, I'm gonna go away forever now, since you want me dead." Or a "that means I'm never ever ever going to see you again."
And once they calm down they may finally have the weight of that hit them? Maybe explain that to them while they're calm so they can process it?
If not, then sadly it is them trying to get a rise out of you and knowing this works. And will until they connect the severity of their words
Cleo of Topless Topics
in reply to : Indigenous Terror • • •: Indigenous Terror
in reply to Cleo of Topless Topics • • •no I completely agree.
Is there any shows you know he likes that have episodes about "the things we say when we're mad are still things we say"
Cleo of Topless Topics
in reply to : Indigenous Terror • • •: Indigenous Terror
in reply to Cleo of Topless Topics • • •it's so hard.
There's so much and they don't have all the words and coping mechanisms to deal.
Kids are so difficult at times.
Louis Ingenthron
in reply to Cleo of Topless Topics • • •I'm not a parent, so feel free to entirely disregard this, but maybe it'll help:
From what you've posted, it sounds like you would never allow a gun in your household, correct? Could it be that, because he's only ever seen them on TV, they're no more real to him than a wand from Harry Potter? That to him, they *are* no more than outrageous hyperbole?
Growing up, I'd always make and play with toy guns with friends. It wasn't until I shot a real one that I really gained the proper level of respect, caution, and gravity to guns that they truly deserve.
Now, obviously, four years old is too young for that lesson, but if you know a responsible gun owner, then maybe it would help to introduce them to your kid. In a controlled environment, your son could maybe even hold an (unloaded!) gun, and feel the weight of it, while the owner closely supervises and explains the responsibility and danger that it represents.
Once it's made real to him and he considers the stakes, maybe his past words will feel different under the new context.
But then again, maybe that would all
... Show more...I'm not a parent, so feel free to entirely disregard this, but maybe it'll help:
From what you've posted, it sounds like you would never allow a gun in your household, correct? Could it be that, because he's only ever seen them on TV, they're no more real to him than a wand from Harry Potter? That to him, they *are* no more than outrageous hyperbole?
Growing up, I'd always make and play with toy guns with friends. It wasn't until I shot a real one that I really gained the proper level of respect, caution, and gravity to guns that they truly deserve.
Now, obviously, four years old is too young for that lesson, but if you know a responsible gun owner, then maybe it would help to introduce them to your kid. In a controlled environment, your son could maybe even hold an (unloaded!) gun, and feel the weight of it, while the owner closely supervises and explains the responsibility and danger that it represents.
Once it's made real to him and he considers the stakes, maybe his past words will feel different under the new context.
But then again, maybe that would all backfire horribly. 🤷♂️ Anyway, just a thought.
Cleo of Topless Topics
in reply to Louis Ingenthron • • •Louis Ingenthron
in reply to Cleo of Topless Topics • • •🎓 Doc Freemo 🇳🇱
Unknown parent • • •Yes i see no issue with using this space for faster coms to settle your opinions before chiming in on gitlab.
@lucifargundam
🎓 Doc Freemo 🇳🇱
Unknown parent • • •You should comment on the gitlab so your opinion is actually added tot he official discussion
@admitsWrongIfProven
LucifarGundam
Unknown parent • • •>>"It is so cool how the army totally smashes our enemies, i love gore!" - glorification, problematic.
<< What about in context of games, books etc? Citing someone else's conversation?
Rokosun
in reply to 🎓 Doc Freemo 🇳🇱 • •@🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱 @LucifarGundam @admitsWrongIfProven
... Show more...I just wanted to let you know about this project dangerousspeech.org/ which is a great resource to help you understand and recognize dangerous speech online & offline. They also seem to support & encourage different tactics like counterspeech to deal with these situations, here is a recent document they published about it - dangerousspeech.org/why-they-d
@🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱 @LucifarGundam @admitsWrongIfProven
I just wanted to let you know about this project dangerousspeech.org/ which is a great resource to help you understand and recognize dangerous speech online & offline. They also seem to support & encourage different tactics like counterspeech to deal with these situations, here is a recent document they published about it - dangerousspeech.org/why-they-d…
I also recommend taking a look at their FAQ, its well worth a read - dangerousspeech.org/faq/
This one might be relevant to your discussion:
> Should dangerous speech be censored or banned?
We’re skeptical of censorship as a means of countering dangerous speech, especially as a sole method, for several reasons. First, it can fail or even backfire. It’s usually impossible to suppress speech entirely, and efforts to do so can only amplify its message. Removing it from social media sites, for example, can push it onto other platforms that act as ‘echo chambers’ where people repeat inflammatory messages to each other, making them seem more convincing and therefore more dangerous. A second reason for skepticism is that rules restricting speech are often interpreted too broadly, leading to the suppression of more speech than necessary. Prosecution for dangerous speech can backfire, by publicizing it and even making it - and its disseminators - more popular. For example, Geert Wilders, a far-right populist politician in the Netherlands, was prosecuted for incitement to discrimination, and then found guilty in December 2016, but during the trial the Party for Freedom, which he founded, only climbed in the polls. In national elections in March 2017, the party won so many seats that it became the second-largest one in the Dutch House of Representatives. Censorship can easily infringe, then, on freedom of expression, which must be protected as a basic human right and a vital component of a democratic society. In addition, people use freedom of speech to seek peaceful resolution of their grievances and without it, may resort to violence.
🎓 Doc Freemo 🇳🇱
in reply to Rokosun • • •Would you mind adding that as an issue on the repository?
@lucifargundam @admitsWrongIfProven
Jennifer Moore 😷
in reply to Cleo of Topless Topics • • •Aaah, that's really hard, sympathies.
If you don't mind a random parent commenting...
(some thoughts to come in a thread)
Jennifer Moore 😷
in reply to Jennifer Moore 😷 • • •Jennifer Moore 😷
in reply to Jennifer Moore 😷 • • •Interestingly it's not necessarily the person who _feels_ the emotion most strongly - it's to do with the outward expression of it.
Well as we all know, little kids don't generally hold back on expressing their emotions! So when you've got a kid who's upset/angry, esp angry _at_ the parent, it can push the parent towards also getting upset.
Jennifer Moore 😷
in reply to Jennifer Moore 😷 • • •Jennifer Moore 😷
in reply to Jennifer Moore 😷 • • •Cleo of Topless Topics
in reply to Jennifer Moore 😷 • • •Jennifer Moore 😷
in reply to Cleo of Topless Topics • • •(just catching up with your replies now)
Yeah, sleep deprivation definitely turns the difficulty level up to 11!
Jennifer Moore 😷
in reply to Jennifer Moore 😷 • • •Cleo of Topless Topics
in reply to Jennifer Moore 😷 • • •Jennifer Moore 😷
in reply to Cleo of Topless Topics • • •