Being eaten alive.

Preface.

Megapolis is progressing, rising, and growing. Just couple of centuries there was placed little-known, hundred people village. Post-industrial society and population grow force people to obey "regim". They all just obey. There were no people who wanted to coup d'état or revolution. There were only "regim" marionettes who just follow implicit way and were economics boosters. That way was: school, work, grave. Who knows, maybe they didn't want to do what þei wilt.

Part I.

Ɐ lived as usual as other peoples in his country. Ɐ was standart middle-level person who lived in Megapolis and obeyed its rules. At the childhood he was mild kid. His parents were wanting to make well-behaved, perfect man who has bussines. I think that all parents want to that. But even universe isn't perfect. Even so wealth, grandious, and great creating is imperfect. Moreover, it is going bad.

At the school time Ɐ tried to smoke, drunk, and other kind of dirt acts. He just tried and he's not doing those now. Ɐ wasn't convicted. Even though wasn't observed by any people.

School where he studied was placed near plastic manufacturing factory. Near is 1 kilometer. Of course, this is awful for student health, but no one thought about super-smart building up plan of city. They just pinned buildings all over the place, at random, without patterns. And then someone lived with smoke, other near biohazard waste fron yet another factory. Peoples are like flies or cockroaches, they will be alive anyway, thought they.

Students weren't complain at health, but one day they can get lung cancer. Some students got health problems at the school. Some after. Ɐ had myopia, by the way. Although, myopia -3 diopters and more is evolution mechanism for modern life style when human spend well-big of their time looking at objects placed near their eyes.

Once at the school one story happened with Ɐ and opposite sex. That story turned over whole his life and maybe that story forced to run Ɐ's life in other direction.

Ɐ walked through street moving toward bus station. Vehicles flashed faster and faster on the right. On the left flowers blocked gray 2-meter wall embraced building of goverment bank. Blossoming flowers were beautiful, because human who looked after the flower walked nearly. Every time when he saw that flower wilted he got it and threw into trash bin.

When Ɐ walked right at gate to bank, he saw that woman speedy walk from bank and go to gates. She was almost same age of Ɐ. Who knows, may be that will be nice spouses.

Woman walked forward gates. She wanted to go out because she was busy all time. She was almost a businesswoman. She wanted to earn money, too. Woman leave the bank which was one-stoyred red-bricked building. Just yet another bank in the metropolis. There were ton of suchlike buoldings. Some banks were destroyed by their debts, some growed up like a bamboo. And the other heap were sailed in economics ocean. Their ways included storms and fights with other companies (sometimes monopolist), and sometimes sea breezes.

There was woman who lived in expensive beautiful house. House of she was placed near of sand shore. Shore was unpopulated and ghost-ish. Random people could stray there but just for minute, came in and came out. That surroundings have dozens of houses where beautiful, too. There were like a premium city sector with own infrastructure. There were bars, clubs, markets. All in all, places for happy being. That microraion was such a cocoon for upper or even uppest class. Goverment wanted to fence off other city. Wanted to make sector which will contain only choosen one peoples. Peoples who worthy and who famous or celebreted. Regardless of person inner world, regardless of virtue he or not, kind or angry, thief or layman. Only if he has a fluffy stack of money, he can to come there.

Likely, virtue, kind or truth have no effect in that world. They, likely, only made situation worse than without. If person kind, then he might fall to bottom of bussines subworld where he won't be alive, because he will drown in quaking bog of bussines subworld bottom. If virtue, then his moral principles cannot help himself, and unvirtue of other peoples force he to fall to bottom. If kind, then bussines subworld have wealth of reasons to force he to fall. For example, just because he is kind and he doesn't answer beastly if he will be tricked. Although, they all are "likely" and we must to be virtue, kind, truth, etc. Who? If not we?

Woman still walked and Ɐ stood up with gate. Seems he was melted down by she. The Force magnify he to she. He heart wanted to go forwards she. But woman still cold-bloodedly walked forwards gates. At her face no one muscle jerked. No one emotion, no one kindness. She was studied by malevolent bussines subworld. Only brazen can be succesful.

At the moment, they two fell wholly different kind of feelings. She fell happy because yet another heap of money were given by she. He fell sad because he wasn't so succesful, rich and big person like she. But, fortunately, all of us feelings go back eventually. Whatever bad or good, sad or happy, painful or painless. Hedonic treadmill always equals everybody. Whoever billionare or pauper.

She is such a jinx, Ɐ thought. Maybe she has a special charm or she is a God envoy or she's not Terran, he continue thinking. Her hair is fair, her clothes is glaring as actively as went down angel glaring. Of course, she was neither envoy nor angel nor celestial inhabitant. She was victim of plastic surgery. Once when she was a girl she made a plasitc operation. From there she became plastic-hostage and fast-hostage, too. Hobestly, she wasn't think that she is an hostage. Moreover, she liked and loved that operations and she loved all new. Plastic surgeny hurt she all time whenever boyhood or youth. I even can say that was face disabled person or invalid.

Woman came through the gates and speedly moved head forward Ɐ. Her gaze bored Ɐ's chest including his head. Extreamly heat wad making when gaze bore coming deeply into Ɐ. His heart was melted down.

"Wacha wan'?" she said with true state of speedtalking.

"Mmmm... Emmm..." he mumbled. Ɐ was charmed, fascinated, and delighted. Thus, he didn't know what he wanted exactly.

"Oh, another poor! Ge' ou' o' me! Oh, I'm wastin' ma time!" woman shouted.

He was thinking when she swiftly got out of there forwards deep dark car. Its driver will drive she to downtown for urgent big deals.

Ɐ's pansées flow was interrupted by creaking sound of train brakes. He was sat at the bench when school bus No. 42 drove toward the station. It was bus to Ɐ's school. However, Ɐ was jinxed and blinded by woman. He lost the bus. Ɐ had to go afoot.

He walked through the park and thoght about "How to become so successful and rich such a that woman?". Maybe I should buy sone books about success, or written by a successful people, he thought. I know about success from TV and Internet, Ɐ continued. Near himself he saw bookstore. The biggest in the city. The bigger thing, the bigger wanting. So, Ɐ ought to visit it after school. Right before closing. Our school has a library, he thought, but I suppose there no literature what I need.

He came to school right before classes starting. There he was pretty fine. He didn't love to study. He studied forcibly. But that day Ɐ had a one-day-motivation. His motivation finite and its maximum is a week. He fell that the world is his oyster.

After school he went to bookstore. He has walked for 30 or 60 minutes. The best of the best, he thought. I have to find the best, he thought. Finally, Ɐ found them. Five bricks of paper. Or wood, if ye want. All of them about success. Yeah, full of success. I promise you that you will be the richest person on Earth, books said. Actually, they were pointless matter. No pain, no gain. No ways both straight and helpful.

After week, he finished reading. He didn't remember entire books vivid, but that was for better. Even read books avidly, he recieved general positions of books which were worthless, helpless, useless.

From there, Ɐ had two ways. Like a menstrel which choose between dyad ways. Exactly, become a star or become a slave. Foolishly, he chose first. And he might become a star, but he ought to choose when his mind was clean and sober, and not under courage.

Part II. AFTER 15 YEARS.

Ɐ was driven by bus. He went to work. Fortune made himself just another part of world mechanism. Now, bus No. 42 turn into No. 4. It wasn't changed. Bus which Ɐ used changed. He sat at No.4. If look through that fifteen years, then we see that Ɐ chose wrong way. Straight away way was wrong and painful.

Alas, he was stubborn and thought his way after his dead. He mind that once he become the star which will fly at cosmos. Onceday, doer come to thinker and lift up the thinker. Somehow he underwent the problems and task, but carelessly.

He wanted to stand againt whole world, wanted to dictate that he is a star. Stood others apart he wanted to do this, but how? Anyhow, too? Alone? The heavier crowd, the stronger stroke of it. And vice versa.

Books which he read? He really follow their positions, but blindly. He still has't know what he want and will since that incident with woman. He definitly got lost. Lost his way, life, and time.

Bus drove nearly Ɐ's high school where he would study in boyhood. He saw it everyday and thought finely about it. Passenger looked around the space. The bus was overflowed. Seats were full, wealth of passengers stood. Ticket worth nigh nothing for citizens. There were only people risef in that country. Neither voyagers nor travellers. They travels on foot. City beautiful deserved to be seen snaily. City was beautiful from all faces. Travellers didn't let themselves to lose that perfect. But fair outside may be foul inside.

The sun rays lit toward Ɐ's eyes. He saw that prestige raion had a lot of rays, too. That blissful place even stole their light, and all civilization weals, too. "Materialize and one day you'll materialize whole," Ɐ remembered from successful book. Though, those books were successful because they were bestsellers, but success cannot give succes.

The bus stopped at station, its suspention gently swung back and forth. Passengers swung by inertion, too. Door opened and wind blew into. Passengers went out. Went through bottle neck they were tightly matter. No one know why so tight. But they can delay short time and walk easily. However, crowd made day by day.

Ɐ walked to high-rise. What did he do? Nothing unusual. Just another day walked around he, without he. Overworking interfered he to live.

Ɐ came back home. Routine actions didn't leave he. Routine meals, work, and pastime. Frige wasn't brimful because of his salary. Undereating made he such a bush stem. Long way home consumed hour time a day. Thus, after consumption he had 2 hours before go asleep. Wanter spent that time to feed scrolling. Successful people draw he and he cannot stop watching them. But pain came after pleasure, and he went sleep sad inside.

Next day was sunny. He routinely went to work, but he was not destined to went outdoor. Doom thought either. Ɐ was died woe within.

In the dust he was found by neighbor. His neighborhood was peaceful. Nobody waited to find man in youth who died so late. Like a wealth of people, workaholism won in struggling between it and he. Workaholism was murdered Ɐ. For a long time with suffering, it hurt he. Buddhist wisdoms say that all action is finite. Any suffer will stop eventually. Either for respite or for ever. Second way suits to Ɐ's life.