For several weeks, I had been dealing with a neighbor who lives on the same property as I; whom I had a conflict with. He took possession of one of my two dog companions employing bits of manipulation, and assuming tacit consent when there was none. I was in a dis-empowered position which I responded with enragement.

At one point, I even went around my neighborhood and visited stores looking for as many watermelons as I could find, and brought them back home, and proceeded to beat at them with a stick as a crappy anger management strategy. Afterwards, I was struck by the idea of the food waste; and ate all twelve watermelons. Needless to say, I did not feel that good for the rest of the day.

As time passed and I simply stewed with anger; and going through that mental loop where my interpretations of what I perceived only increased my judgement of wrongness; which would result in increased anger; and then start the loop again. I did not desire to engage in violence towards another being; and as a result; would then go into a depressed mood; which inevitably would usher in feelings of sadness, more dis-empowerment, and fear; which then would result in me spending more time away from home; often sleeping elsewhere.

At some point, with some emotional insight from a friend, I realized a few things:

• It was clear that my neighbor needed this dog much more than I needed her.
• He was once bullied at some point in the past, and his response was to become one.
• I realized that this was what it felt like to be a person from Latin America, and other exploited parts of the world.

The only conclusion was that I had to let go of this matter. What was important was that this dog was being treated well. I did not want to hold this anger and have it take its toll on me. I also had to trust that although he will not claim responsibility for the manner that he went about bringing this dog into his life; that the consequences would come from an indirect source in the future. I needed to forgive him for myself, and not necessarily absolve him from his responsibility.

...as much as I hated letting him get away with it...

At least I got a bit of a reprieve from his little displays of empowerment and entitlement when he left to go travel for some sort of surgery. I am not sure how I will react when he returns and potentially do more things in a similar manner. I suppose that will be my challenge and test to see if I truly take this lesson to heart.

Thanks for reading.