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Groundhog royalty crowned in the Punxsutawney Area School District | Entertainment byteseu.com/1760291/ #Entertainment #local #News


Culinary Students Given Live Baby To Learn How To Care For Bag Of Flour


HYDE PARK, NY—Stifling their groans as an instructor distributed the wailing infants, students at the Culinary Institute of America were reportedly given a live baby Friday to learn how to care for a bag of flour. “Flour is the most delicate of the pantry staples, and looking after this child for the week will prepare […]

The post Culinary Students Given Live Baby To Learn How To Care For Bag Of Flour appeared first on The Onion.


Manslaughter Honked At


The post Manslaughter Honked At appeared first on The Onion.


Man Unrecognizable After Full 8 Hours Of Sleep


BOSTON—Prompting exclamations of astonishment from colleagues and supervisors, local man Joshua Lingard reportedly appeared entirely unrecognizable Wednesday after enjoying a full eight hours of sleep. “Oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize it was Josh without those dark bags under his eyes and his usual lifeless monotone,” said Lingard’s coworker Alison Conners, who gasped in […]

The post Man Unrecognizable After Full 8 Hours Of Sleep appeared first on The Onion.


Hook & Barrel’s Heidi Vukov earns James Beard nomination | Entertainment byteseu.com/1752474/ #business #dining #Entertainment #local #myrtle_beach #News


Actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt visits Utah to urge regulations on ‘amoral’ AI companies byteseu.com/1751864/ #AI #ArtificialIntelligence #Cars #celebrity #classifieds #Homes #Jobs #LAW #local #News #Politics #radio #SaltLake #Sports #Technology #Television #traffic #utah #weather


‘Dad’s Under A Lot Of Pressure At Work,’ Says Woman Of Husband Who Spends Half Day Playing ‘Clash Of Clans’


TACOMA, WA—Urging her kids to cut their dad some slack amid the added stressors of his work life, area woman Ashlyn Bergman reportedly informed her children Tuesday that their father, who typically spends half his workday playing Clash Of Clans on his phone, was “under a lot of pressure at work.” “He doesn’t love you […]

The post ‘Dad’s Under A Lot Of Pressure At Work,’ Says Woman Of Husband Who Spends Half Day Playing ‘Clash Of Clans’ appeared first on The Onion.