My father had another stroke yesterday. 5th in less than a year. The situation is too critical now for my parents so tomorrow I fly from Spain to Romania to help them. My main goal is to bring them to Spain the next month because the healthcare system in Romania is a disaster in many ways.

I've been through a tsunami of problems for the past months and mentally I was in intensive care. Only the past 2-3 weeks I was able to sort my life a bit. These days I was starting to work more to make videos for Ride With Less, video scripts for a new TROM video series, work on an AI article for TROM, release a Pixelfed instance....I was really efficient and I started to like it. Here the weather is much nice, the tourists left....it was nice and peaceful.

But life is not nice and peaceful for me.

I have to interrupt my work again and my motivation and drive. For me going to Romania is a short version of Hell even if I go there willingly and not because something bad happened. I never liked it there. Is the place that made me try to kill myself in high-school. So now, all of these combined, I feel like someone woke me up and told me I have to go to prison now. Life interrupted. Life downgraded. Life fucked.

I am unsure how I will cope with the situation considering my brain is already a mess. I will do my best for my parents and especially for my mom. That's my only motivator now. She needs help so I should try to help her.

You are a tool in this system, then you retire and you are a disposable piece of meat. This is no intelligent species. You have same day deliveries for all sort of shits, products, foods....but when it comes to health is all disorganized, expensive, long waiting times....miserable experience. At least in Spain the healthcare system is trade-free and quite good so we want for my father to come here to see if they find out why he has so many strokes so often...

Life sucks for me and from my perspective. I really need to keep on listening to podcasts or lectures about the universe to keep myself distracted from the "on the ground" hell.

I swear the past year has been a unique shithole of a year. And is not done yet.

I hope to no stay there for more than 3 weeks top. I really do. And even that feels like an eternity.

Will try to survive. I really didnt want to go to romania.....but now there is no choice.

Nasty situation.

So yah, if I can work on TROM that'd be great, but for the next month idk....

#rant