We've been living in the motorhome for the past 2 days. We worked so much these past weeks on the motorhome, and moving out of the old house and all that....it was so tiring. But from now on things are all about getting used to this new lifestyle. We will be staying in Spain for a week or so in the motorhome then we have to go to Romania for a month. Only after that we will start the "tromhome" living properly.

There are ups and downs, advantages and disadvantages. On one hand you get amazing views and to be able to go anywhere basically...and still have your home, is amazing. We slept last night in this nature place, so cold outside, stars crisp, quiet, amazing. Inside warm and cozy.

But then we do not have enough solar power and batteries so I can barely use my laptop. The internet is limited too. This is a completely different lifestyle for me.

You have to go to the bathroom, you also have to "manage" the waste. When you park you have to not do it in the shade so you get some solar. Also, make sure you are allowed to park where you want to. You have to fill up your water tank, also empty it. :D

Many things to do. But life is short and I want to try new things ;)

It will take a bit of time to get into some kind of routine with my projects and lifestyle. But I am sure it will work out.

To have this earthship and go places is an amazing thing. A dream I had since I was a kid :D.

Anyway, not much time for TROM for the next 1-2 weeks, but after that the entire December I will focus on it, updates, videos, things, plans.

The dangers of fading. The slow, gradual, and certain fall into something else that you do not like initially. The danger is that it is slow and feels not so "bad" for a long period of time, until you have changed. You faded into something else. You transitioned.

This is something I've always fought against, to not let it happen to me. To never forget this:

Or atoms, or galaxies, or the fantasy world humans have created.

This culture and system are so powerful, they will suck pretty much everyone in. Slowly, gradually, and certainly.

Normal people scare me. Those who are adapted to this fantasy world, make me depressed.

I will do my best to live a life of a human, a creature evolved from others, one that lives on a planet in a mindblowing universe. Made off of atoms and quarks, a collections of cells in their formation, a fabulous and complex reality surrounding me. That's who I am, not a citizen, an author, a boyfriend, a owner of a motorhome, or whatever the fuck.

I almost always felt like living amongst zombies. I only know a handful of humans that I can call "humans", the rest are actors in a bad and primitive movie, trapped inside a simplistic fantasy.

It is now 2 weeks since we talked to a mechanic across the street, literally, to go pickup up the motorhome we want to buy and do an inspection. According to them it takes 1h to do the inspection. This is how "far" they are from where the motorhome is:

We called them so many times. Yesterday they finally took the motorhome for inspection. They supposed to call today morning to tell us the results. No call. They said they will take the motorhome days ago, that they will call, etc.. Nothing.

I swear Spain is the slowest country on Earth to do anything, except the healthcare system that is really great form my experience. The rest is slow as fuck and you always have 1 paper less, so you have to come next time. Appointments take forever, it is always "manana" (tomorrow), it is so unreliable.

Crazy we've spent so long to find a motorhome, to see motorhomes, to get the money for it and all that, and then we get stuck with this car inspection that takes forever.

If you ever consider moving to Spain, mind you the bureaucracy is on a different level of crazy. And do not expect to solve any issues here fast. This will never happen. That's ours and everyone we know experience.

So we are waiting and waiting....

#spain

I will probably close the gofundme campaign for TROMhome soon. It was likely not a good idea and we are getting no support anyway. We are going to buy the motorhome ourselves and manage the money situation somehow. Problem is after we buy it we will have around 900 Euros all of our money and at best 400 Euros a month from then on. It is a mystery how we will move forward with that, but we've been in a lot of financial shit over the years so we will find a way. I hope.

The best support is the 200 for TROM tromsite.com/donate/ - just 5 Euros a month max per person, to distribute the financial pressure on people and make this sustainable. It is damn hard to reach any of these goals that are stretched at the extreme low end of the needed support, but at this point I am tired of it all, so I accept whatever it is. If we cannot support ourselves financially I may shut down some of the TROM.tf services and move the project to a cheaper server. Will see...

So I am bouncing around in my head these days between extreme excitement about the motorhome, and terrible concern about what we do after we buy it.

I am also very eager to create more stuff for TROM, content wise, but well these next months I will be busy with the motorhome life.

I am trying to not let these failures with the gofundme campaign or 200 for TROM destroy my thin layer of motivation that has been getting thinner and thinner over the years. In a way I feel like an old man retiring after many years of work. In the sense that TROM had a lot of traction in the beginning, then I pushed a lot with TVP, I made books, articles, videos, managed many "social" networks, whatever, and now for the past few years I got tired of being fucked by these "social" networks who won't even show your posts to your followers, so I retreated myself into the fediverse. Friendica, Peertube, and the like. Losing even further the little reach we had. But I love these places, they are cozy and sane.

However I have no clue if anyone is still interested in TROM or these sort of projects. Even the few people who got to be active and involved and we became good friends because of TROM, got sucked into the system.

I have great friends now, super exciting plans with the motorhome, but I don't have TROM that much. TROM is a side dish, after it was the main meal for many years between me and the people I got to know online.

As you can see, the "old man retiring" blabbing about the past. But the thing is that TROM is as relevant as it was 10 years ago. The "trade as the origin of most problems" I think is one of the most important ideas out there. The content that we've made, the projects that are still alive, are all very relevant. It's just that this society sucks everyone in. Jobs, netflix, wars, elections, money, stress, day to day bullshit, consume, ads....hard to focus on TROM-like things.

But anyway, I will let the TROMhome project become part of my life, or vice-versa, and I am not giving up on TROM anytime soon. I have a lot more to do, but at times it helps me vent, so I let my brain share bits of my frustration into the interweb, almost like a modern prayer :D - maybe someone is listening, or cares, or doesn't. I certainly don't care, it simply helps me to write :D. I used to keep an offline journal years ago for such reasons, and this is similar, but well....public since it has a lot to do with the many public projects I am doing.

Ok.

Two things scare me the most, personally. First is death or health related issues. It is normal, if I die I'm fucked for eternity :). I think this is easy to understand for many people.

Second thing that scares me so much is to slip back into the fantasy world that humans created and forget about the amazing reality discovered for the past hundreds of years. To become too normal, even if that can mean to laugh, have fun, enjoy. I am scared of this. I battled this for all of my life trying to inject myself with reality bits and info (atoms, galaxies, evolution, stars and everything real) in the hope that my brain can understand the value of reality. It is hard. It is so hard and it is something I feel not many, if any, understand. It is also something that you can lose very fast, when you "get it".

I wanted to put a printed Hubble image of the Andromeda galaxy on the ceiling in my room when I was in college so that when I wake up it will remind me of how reality is mind blowing and the human invented one is a simplistic, myopic and colorless at best.

Most humans are today as they were 400, 1.000 , or more years ago. Let's have a beer, a chat, get married, fuck, have kids, gossip, have fun or war. Not saying some of these are not good or reasonable, but isn't it mindblowing that not much has changed in the core of our global society and the day to day life of humans for the past 400 years considering in this time we discovered cells, atoms, galaxies, evolution, and everything in between?

To me, this is so odd it creates a turmoil in my head. I think I have an explanation why this is the case tho: an aggressive trade-based society where everyone is a working ant. No time to even know about reality, let alone absorb it.

Reality is shocking, mind-blowing, fabulous, scary, infinitely complex and amazing.
Day to day life in this society is simplistic and almost parallel to reality.

If you don't fee like losing your mind when you think about this contrast, I don't think you understand.

#society #trade #capitalism #andromeda #science #TradeRuinsEverything