Are you actually observing your life and actually observing how you look at it? Do you look at it with an image or conclusion, and therefore do not come directly into contact with it? When you look at the life of your daily existence, not at a theoretical life, not at an abstract life where all human beings are one, all is love – when you observe it, you see that you are looking with your past knowledge. You are looking with all the images, tradition and accumulation of human experience. That prevents you from actually looking. It is a fact that must be realised, that to observe your life actually, you must look at it afresh; that is, to look at it without any condemnation, without any ideal, without any desire to suppress it or change it; just to observe. Are you doing this? Are you using the speaker as a mirror in which you see your own life? Are you seeing that looking at it from a conclusion prevents you from looking at it directly, from being in contact with it? Are you doing this? If you don’t do it now, you won’t do it later. If you are not doing it, don
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Are you actually observing your life and actually observing how you look at it? Do you look at it with an image or conclusion, and therefore do not come directly into contact with it? When you look at the life of your daily existence, not at a theoretical life, not at an abstract life where all human beings are one, all is love – when you observe it, you see that you are looking with your past knowledge. You are looking with all the images, tradition and accumulation of human experience. That prevents you from actually looking. It is a fact that must be realised, that to observe your life actually, you must look at it afresh; that is, to look at it without any condemnation, without any ideal, without any desire to suppress it or change it; just to observe. Are you doing this? Are you using the speaker as a mirror in which you see your own life? Are you seeing that looking at it from a conclusion prevents you from looking at it directly, from being in contact with it? Are you doing this? If you don’t do it now, you won’t do it later. If you are not doing it, don’t bother to listen – look at the sky, look at a tree, look at the beauty of light, look at the clouds with their curves, with their delicacy. If you look without any image, you have understood your own life.
wanderer is a decentralized, self-hosted trail database. You can upload your recorded GPS tracks or create new ones and add various metadata to build an easily searchable catalogue.
wanderer is a decentralized, self-hosted trail database. You can upload your recorded GPS tracks or create new ones and add various metadata to build an easily searchable catalogue. #trailDatabase
We are concerned with observing the actual facts, the ‘what is’. To observe ‘what is’ very clearly and to see the full significance of those facts, we must look at it without our conditioning. That is where the difficulty is going to lie, because you have opinions, you have values, you approach them as a Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, or what you will, with your nationality, with your peculiar idiosyncrasies, and these prevent you from observing, from looking. Observation is an art. It is not easily learnt. One has observed neither the sunset nor the stars, neither the trees nor the facts, outwardly or inwardly. So, if we are going to travel together – and I hope we will – we have to observe scientifically, ruthlessly and with great intelligence.
For the past two years I’ve been trying to create new content for TROM and I failed. I don’t have to do it, but I want to. Else I feel lost and I will explain why.
I have never been trapped in such a suffocating situation before.
For the past two years I’ve been trying to create new content for TROM and I failed. I don’t have to do it, but I want to. Else I feel lost and I will explain why.
I have never been trapped in such a suffocating situation before.
For the past two years I’ve been trying to create new content for TROM and I failed. I don’t have to do it, but I want to. Else I feel lost and I will explain why.
I have never been trapped in such a suffocating situation before.
I remember people telling me how they envy my drive and how I am like a “rock” in a storm, I keep on being the same, create stuff, engage, be active. That was my “activism” activity online. So many projects, websites, books, videos, I was a machine really.
Even I was thinking how good that my only problem is money and not some mental struggle. Because if I have money I know what to do.
Now I still don’t have much money, but money is also not an issue currently. I don’t think much about it because this is my home: I am typing this article from inside this little thing we call Tortuga (Tortoise). Because it is slow but resilient :). But living in this way allowed me to live with a lot less. 5-600 Euros a month is enough for me to live, travel, eat and pay for internet. Half of what I needed before.
When I started my “activism” my immediate environment sucked. Living with my parents, we were all poor, stressed, my family was slaving to a job in Spain. I had no money and no way to take care of myself. Everyone I knew was a total zombie, trapped robot citizens, mushed brains, livestock meat. I HATED it! I was and felt alone.
The outside world was the same mess. I was disgusted by it. Buy, work, be trapped, be an idiot. Destroy, lie, deceive. Compete, don’t give a fuck, be a dick. I felt trapped but I mentally untrapped myself.
I found some hope online. My blog was reaching some people, so I felt like someone is listening. Then came across organizations like TVP/TZM and realized there might be a hope to this bullshit society.
It was a path that I was seeing from my dark place to something. Something…I don’t know what, but something. And this path gave me hope. This world can be a paradise if we are scientifically minded and understand that the society we live in is a human invention, so to not let this invention stay in our way of creating a better society. Money, social statuses, countries, ownership, all that is fantasy! If only we can make people see that, then we can use our science-brain and solve problems without being stopped by these fantasies.
We have food, let’s feed people. We have cancer treatments, let’s treat people. We want to build a museum, let’s build it. Not via monetary limitations, but volunteer organizations. If we have NOT, then we must at least have NOT enough resources or knowledge. I cannot accept that we have NOT “money”. That is bullshit.
My mission: come with me on this path out of this bullshit human society, and things will emerge. We just need to make people see the world for what it is.
After all if I were to realize that we live in a computer simulation I would FOR SURE react strongly to that and would want to get to the bottom of it! Imagine if I were to just say: hm yeah, but I still have to eat and survive in this simulation so…is nothing I can do… I thought now the main focus is to make people realize that we live in a simulation. A human fantasy simulation.
So I was like a machine gun, firing videos, documentaries, projects, blog posts, books, articles, memes. I was managing 8 social networks at once. Post everywhere. Podcasts? Yes! Debates? Yes! A new documentary? Yes! More websites? YESSS!
And I was firing them in my immediate environment and the outside world. And so I spent the past 15 years! In this intense way.
I started to get donations so my immediate environment became better. Less stress, more comfortable.
The Rupture.
After so much effort I realized some hard truths.
Reaching people with these messages is an infinite struggle and has become almost impossible recently. Everyone is consumed on idiotic platforms. No new content can easily reach them. My machineguns were kinda obsolete. I do not have the energy and motivation to make TikTok videos or click baity content…I cannot. And without this you do not exist.
Even when you reach people their heads are a mush because of so much content online. Too many things people have to deal with. How my message dissolves in these brains is tasteless. They scroll to the next thing.
Even when the content dissolves in some brains in a tasteful way, these people are also trapped with jobs and other issues.
The world has become a tsunami of problems and stupidity. From the COVID pandemic with its mental conspiracies orbiting it, to Russia going at war with Ukraine, Israel mass murdering people in Gaza, Trump being a shitshow clown, people murdered, loud political debates, anger, more idiots, more consumerism….
Organizations and movements like TVP, TZM and the like dissolved.
I realized the outside world is far bigger and more problematic than I thought. And for the past years it expanded infinitely into the stupid, moronic, and violent. I felt the path leads to nowhere. There is no path. I felt locked into my immediate environment. Friends, family, Tortuga. I finally have amazing friends and my family is ok. I have a fucking Tortuga! I feel quite safe. I am on my own kinda and can take care of myself. I can go see super nice places out in the world.
I am fine. In that sense. But…
I see no path forward, nothing to look up to. No escape from the outside world. I find it impossible to live in my own nice bubble and ignore it. But I also cannot see a path forward.
And this has destroyed me inside. For the first time in 15 years I feel lost. I do not feel motivated to fire up anything at this world: no more books, content, projects. I don’t feel like it is going to have any impact.
I am still super happy to keep our projects alive and relevant. And I hope to also create new content. But it is hard. Even more so when my new lifestyle forces me to interrupt my work every few days. I need to move move move…get water for the motorhome, buy food, get gas, etc..
On the other hand if I were to stay in one place for longer, I would perhaps get even more depressed since I cannot find much joy and hope into creating new stuff and being actively active in my “activism”.
So maybe when I am forced to go from one place to another, is a way to keep me distracted and to allow me to continue, whatever that “continue” means.
I know this is a depressing post. And I have made several like this in the past. But this is the truth. And the truth also is that for the past 2 years or so I could not find a way out for me. Mentally that is.
So at times I am super happy and relaxed, then next day I can be totally down. I fluctuate a lot. And that is bothering me.
There are good things to look forward in my green bubble. A total solar eclipse this year and for that I will meet up with the rarest of humans, those who are smart, sane and kind. Cannot wait for that. I am also enjoying this Tortuga earthship and I look forward to see where she will take me. It is my little bubble and I still fire up some stuff into the outside world via TROM.tf, VideoNeat or TROMjaro. Maybe more will come. IDK.
But I have tried and I am either demotivated to throw content into a blackhole that this world is, or always get interrupted by life.
For now I will try more. And if nothing works, at least I still have my green bubble and I may accept to be comfortable with only that. And don’t worry I am fine, is perhaps a normal reaction to a shithole society. Maybe I need to go through a rough road of acceptance that there is nothing there in the outside outside world that is hopeful.
We will see. At least making this post helps me a bit.
I will eat something. Take a nap. And maybe when I wake up I can even “fire up” some content for TROM. Update my never ending drafts that are meant to become books or videos one day. Because I know that I cannot just stay. I need to do something, even if it goes nowhere.
When the problems are inside of your mind, and you need your mind to fix them, it is harder than climbing the tallest mountain. But it is doable.
for me its a bit different - I started making content this year. demesys.org/ (translated "attention") Translated slogan "Where do you direct your attention?" It is visualizations about troubles & solutions. First was about authoritarian power seek: demesys.org/beda-autoritaru-ga… Second was about psychopathy: demesys.org/beda-psichopatija Third will be either about political manipulation (another serious trouble), or more likely, will be first solution.
Yra labai daug visuomeninių sisteminių bėdų ir jų sprendimų, bet kad joms spręsti, reikia daugiau žmonių apie jas ir jų sprendimus susipažinti, atkreipti dėmesį, galimai bendradarbiauti jas sprendžiant.
Mindaugas
in reply to Tio • • •demesys.org/ (translated "attention")
Translated slogan "Where do you direct your attention?"
It is visualizations about troubles & solutions.
First was about authoritarian power seek: demesys.org/beda-autoritaru-ga…
Second was about psychopathy: demesys.org/beda-psichopatija
Third will be either about political manipulation (another serious trouble), or more likely, will be first solution.
Kur nukreiptas tavo dėmesys? | demesys.org
Kur nukreiptas tavo dėmesys?Tio likes this.