Now I am in pain. A lot of. Right side of my throat hurts like a hundred big needles got stuck there. I had a look. I see white spots. Throat ulcers very likely. I had this for about a week. I woke up so many times last night simply because of so much pain. Eating is something I hate right now because it hurts the most. Sleeping makes my throat dryer and in about 1h I wake up with tremendous pain. Talking is very uncomfortable. I want this to end.

This is me and my pain now :) :

Only warm tea is helping me alleviate the pain. I've been to the doctor. She looked for 15 seconds and said it is a virus infection and to take ibuprofen if it hurts. Now go home. Fuck them, today I have another appointment and I will make sure to insist to give me some pain killers and more explanations for my situation. I had COVID and this started after that COVID episode. I also took a lot of ibuprofen when COVID hit since I had fever for several days. I've read that ibuprofen can also cause such mouth ulcers. I also fucked up since I did some gargling with water and salt (usually this helps me when in such pain), but I exaggerated and put a ton of salt in the water. Hurt like a bitch.

Then I also used another spray that was for infection+pus....and that also fucking hurt. Now I bought something for canker sores and the doctor said is fine to use it. Hurts less but still...I also tried several painkillers. Nothing works.

This is me having a tear:

Man it really hurts and it is so uncomfortable. Even my ear hurts. Painful pains that last for many days, or longer, are (of course) the fucking worst. I had kidney stones and here's a post I did about it. That was way worse, tho what I experience now it is getting closer to that experience if it keeps on lasting. I forgot about that kidney stone event. And that's normal. And that's my point.

It will go away.

That I know for sure. May take days or a week or so, but eventually it will go away. And this is the point of this post. You know when you are in a lot of pain and your health sucks balls and you think: fhuck, I'm gonna die! You won't. Except in very rare cases if you have a terminal illness, in which case this article won't help you at all :( .

I remember when I was 11 or so. I had a pain over here:

Even now I remember how awful that pain was. I could not lift up my leg, and took months to go away. I had to learn to kick the football ball with the other leg because the right one was hurting. It is funny that I did not give up football tho, despite the pain :D.

Several years ago I had a constant pain here:

But eventually it went away. Took me weeks to get rid of the ghost pain tho. It got tattooed into my brain.

I also had a skin rush on my face that period of time (as you can see in this photo :) ):

We all have these moments. And it seems to me like that whenever we have them we feel like dying. I dream about the day when I won't have that fucking pain. To then forget about it the next day I feel ok.

So this is a message for all of those who suffer in pain. Don't worry, it will go away.

I cannot wait to read this post when I will have no more throat pain.

Just another reminder that we do live in an abusive and fucked up society. Like I was saying before: Me and Sasha, much love. We get along really well, all great. We wanna stay together and do things. We want to work more on TROM and TROM related projects. That's how we met.

Now, she is from the USA tribe and I am from the Romanian tribe. Believe it or not, dear aliens, but we are not allowed to be together in the same place for more than say 3 months (that if we can afford). On Planet Earth. The blue marble. This is true. "legally" we cannot.

Anyway, we've been through this, I wrote a big blog post here.

We managed to get "married" (papers and papers, human imagination). I am also a resident in Spain. Finally. Now we can live in Spain together. But she cannot leave spain else she can get deported and we are fucked....also, she cannot work in spain because she does not have other sort of papers to allow her to do that....

In the meantime we are poor as fuck...

BUT hey, if me (the hus-band) were to have had a job for at leas 1 year and currently work, and make at least 1k Euros a month, or had lots of money in my bank account, then they would get her the papers. If not, we have to survive for 3 years in spain, without her working, and then she can get the papers...

So....stay in spain but dont leave! Do not work even if you are poor! Get no financial help! You get the papers only if your hus-band works and makes a lot of money. If you survive for 3 years in spain in these conditions we will give you the papers so you can work.

Wtf is this insane game?

Oh, and if you want to see if we accept you, pay 400 Euros to submit your papers to the gov. And we did. And just got denied. So give us money to check if you have enough money to be able to work and make money. If you do not have enough money you are not allowed to work and make money.

Because, folks, as I've been saying for years now: it is all about that trade. Your value is about trading. If we were good traders, we could have stayed together. But since I chose to do good and honest projects, and provide them as trade-free for anyone, then I have no right to a life in this society.

That's the shocking truth. But I am screaming in the abyss. #tromlive

This is a show from a few days ago from the little town I live in:

It used to be this:

So messy.

Great! It seems that the world is starting to replace fireworks shows with drone shows. No more noise pollution, smoke, waste from the burned fireworks, and so forth. Sounds much much better!

Here's a more advanced and cool example:

But I am concerned they will use them to also display some ads, like brands and promote shit...

Oh wait, they already do it!

FUCK.

Above Sydney so that everyone can see them...and loud music....so still noise pollution. What about those batteries and components for these thousands of drones that are used for such shows? Where do they go after not working anymore? Probably land-fields...

Ok ok....I know, nothing can end up well in a trade-based society. Everything gets traded, and thus marketed. Nothing is what it seems. A drone show is not just a drone show, it is an opportunity to advertise. A book is not just a book, it is an opportunity for the author to buy a new car. A piece of software is not just a piece of software, it is a way for the developer/company to collect more data, to then transform that into currency, to then transform that into holidays, houses, and fancy shit and so on for themselves.

This is the most fundamental thing that everyone should understand about our society, that we are forced and incentivized to trade. Very few people can afford to, or are willing to do things for the sake of doing things. And of course this creates a very messed-up society when you do something in order to get something else. We did that in school where the goal was to get good grades to pass the exams. Most kinds would cheat, not learn anything, because the goal was not to learn. And so it goes for our society...the goal is not to write books, do drone shows to protect the nature, create a PDF converter or whatever. Nah....

So we should not be surprised that everything goes to shit. Pollution, waste, bad products, scammy services....

Nothing will every change unless we understand that #TradeRuinsEverything .

#tromlive